I hate this….yet the promise of “TOVA”

Every year we bang pots and pans, it was her favorite. She would scream at the top of her squeaky voice .... "HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!!!!!!!!" SHE IS THE CUTEST NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATOR EVER!!!             ...except that one horrible terrifying New Year's Eve  that she nearly died. Three years ago....on... Continue Reading →


A brave Christmas…..

Merry Christmas in Heaven Gia-Bia. Mama wants you here. It is not okay. But, we are Keeping your brave heartbeat so close to our own heartbeats sweet baby💙🦋 You keep us brave . It's not the same without you here to squeal and jump up and down over your newest dolly or plush lovie💔😢. You... Continue Reading →

Mighty not Merry.

  8 months. That's 243 days since I felt her heart beat against mine. I hate that I can't tangibly feel her beautiful pounding heart muscle anymore with my hands or my chest or my cheek. We all just loved pressing our faces deeply into her brave scars that traced the handiwork of our mighty... Continue Reading →

a miracle happened 7 years ago….

Today is so special!!!! The anniversary of a miracle!   7 years ago, in a huge civil affairs office in Southern China, we were handed the most beautiful treasure in the whole wide world. That room suddenly became a labor and delivery room and every emotion was experienced in that sacred precious encounter. When they... Continue Reading →

Some Days…..Always…

Mama misses you my sweet lovie....so very much. Some days I can get my grief legs under me.... But some days all I can do is crawl. Some days I can breathe and I feel God's light and His promises so close to my heart. But some days, I'm literally choking on my grief. I... Continue Reading →

Our Tree of Hope

Our tree of HOPE🦋. We decorated our tree in honor of our brave 🦋Gia-Bia🦋 who hung her ❤️brave heart💔 every year in praise for our God of miracles! I felt her so close as we filled our tree with her favorite color. I know she’s loving her tree from heaven😍😢. ....im so thankful that last... Continue Reading →

Dear Younger Us…..

Look at us. Such naive Babies.... completely thinking we were complete. How much we thought we knew our future. ....I am so thankful that God saved us from this "normal safe life" that’s pictured in this photo. ....that sweet smaller Family has absolutely no idea what’s coming….. Thinking this is all there is ...they have... Continue Reading →

Treasures in the darkness…

I want to thank everyone who prayed for my family especially yesterday. during Thanksgiving... Holidays hurt so deeply...and Gianna's void is so loud 😦  But, Yesterday was a special time with family and I felt God's grace carrying all of us. .... it was hard ...so hard....But God came close within the pain and there... Continue Reading →

A broken Thanksgiving

4 years ago today ....I remember sitting by her hospital bed so carefully making sure each tiny little toe received their share of pink nail polish goodness. As I painted those dainty little toes and glared at her stats on the monitors above, I was somberly reflecting on the miracle of her 1/2 broken heart made... Continue Reading →

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